Ever have one of those days? You know what I mean, those days you wake up…in a mood. The attitude you went to bed with steeped all night to produce a potent concoction. It’s not just a grumpy mood quickly fixed by a cup of coffee. No, this mood has the power to take your inner witch all the way to the other end of the alphabet, if you know what I’m saying.
This was me yesterday. And I wanted to be in this mood. I wanted to roll in it—to let it seep into my whole being. The again-ness and challenges of life had worn me down to utter weariness. I had earned my bad attitude and deserved to let it do its thing.
I was even avoiding my quiet time. I knew I needed to do it, that it’s what was best for me, that it could renew my mind and give me much needed peace. But I didn’t want to. I didn’t want my mood taken away. It was mine! I earned it! Mine! So I put it off for as long as I could.
I read my Twitter feed and tossed out a few tweets of my own. I scanned my Instagram feed and liked and commented on more posts than usual. I went to Facebook and did the same. Then I circled through them again…and again…until there was nothing new.
I looked for more to do. My laundry was running as was my dishwasher. My social media had been checked, rechecked, and checked again. And I’d already published my blog post…My excuses were gone.
I could almost see my Savior’s, “Are you about finished? I’m not going anywhere” expression as He sat patiently, waiting for me to take a seat.
I slumped in my chair and grumbled as I flopped my Bible and journal open. I grouched as I chose my colored pen for the day. I said my usual prayer with no sincerity, enthusiasm, or joy: Open my heart and mind to what you have to teach me today. Give me your wisdom and may it abide in me. Fill me to overflowing with your Spirit.
I was void of my usual anticipation and excitement as I began.
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13, NLT
It was like a drop of water splashed my parched tongue. I didn’t even realize I was thirsty. I was now unsatisfied and needed more.
“Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.” Romans 12:11-12, NLT
My thirst was now fully awakened. I became desperate to quench my longing.
“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.” 2 Corinthians 4:7 NLT
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.” Proverbs 17:22 NLT
I hit my knees! I poured out my frustrations, sins, annoyances, pride, anger, jealousies, selfishness…everything to my Abba. My tears flowed, purging everything hidden deep inside. Then I threw back my head and allowed His Word and Spirit to undo me, to fill me, to cleanse me. He quenched my thirst and my need.
And In the process, my mood vanished. I didn’t even notice its passing. Nor did I feel the need or desire to hang onto it. My focus changed. My heart recalibrated.
Finally, I felt refreshed. Joy filled. Thankful. And happy. My circumstances were the same. The again-ness was still present. But because the Spirit filled me, I was able to enjoy my kids when they came home, I didn’t feel stressed, and I had an excellent rest of my day.
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” Galatians 5:22-23 NLT
Journal exercise: This photo is of my 3×5 cards. These contain Scriptures I’ve written out over the years for memorization. These are the verses that have blessed me, encouraged me, confronted me, and drawn me closer to my Savior. I’ve recently started dating them and writing on the back why it was so poignant: the circumstance I was in, the timing, the uncertainty it clarified, etc. I encourage you to get some 3×5 cards and do the same. Keep them with you. Memorize these verses. Write them on your heart.