Disclaimer: When I wrote Not Today Satan I didn’t expect to write a “part two.” But God had other plans.
As I already shared: Last Friday, when I read the words, “The Bible study is officially off to the printer!” I was exhilarated! But before the first whoop left my lips, fear gripped me so tight I could hardly breathe…
What I didn’t share: The fear was so intense I was literally gasping for breath, like I had a boa constrictor around my chest—squeezing. It’s intensity caught me off guard, shocked me. But before my startled shock dissipated and I could regroup, the assaults started. Insecurities I thought had disappeared were back, thirsting for blood. Fears and insults were arrows hurled at me in such rapid succession I didn’t have time to pick up my shield or rebuke anything.
Instead, I curled up into a ball on my floor, instinctively covering my head with my arms trying to protect myself. Between the terror and the tears all I could whisper was, “Jesus, help me.” The fear lifted slightly, but it wasn’t gone. So I said it again louder. And louder again. Then I got mad. As loud as I could shout I started to rebuke the attack, claim Whose I am and who I am. I started reminding Satan who he was and that he was defeated. Eventually the debilitating fear was gone.
And I was exhausted.
This wasn’t the first physical spiritual attack I’ve endured, but it’s the first one I’ve had in a very long time.
And it shook me.
Throughout the writing of this study Satan has messed with my mind, my health, my sanity, my energy, and several other things trying to derail this project. But he hadn’t physically attacked me—until now.
(Beloved, I’m convinced the only way I was able to complete this project was by the grace of God AND a massive hedge of protection around me created by several diligent prayer warriors.)
I licked my wounds all weekend and was able to pluck some of the arrows out with minimal to no damage done. Others were more deeply embedded and injurious. However, “I” failed to take those hurts to God immediately—the only One who could safely remove the arrows and heal the pain with His Truth.
As a result,
- I was angry and defensive.
- I was unsettled and didn’t sleep well.
- What I knew and what I felt didn’t align.
- The 18” journey between my head and heart was disjointed.
- Those lies remained in me, poisoning my heart and mind.
On Monday, I talked to God about the attack—and all the other ones I endured while I was writing—and the wounds I’d allowed to fester. I was frustrated and couldn’t understand why Satan would attack me so viciously now. The project was done. At the printers. It was out of my hands—done. Why such a violent attack now?
Here’s what He told me.
This project isn’t done. It’s only just begun. This is phase one of 1 & 2 Samuel—the foundation for phase two, and Satan’s trying to stop you from writing it and any future Bible studies. He wants you to be intimidated, too afraid to continue. He knows your passions and goals. He knows you’re armed and ready to battle Biblical illiteracy in your church, community, state, nation, and world. He knows you desire to prove My Word is not some archaic old fashioned book, but it’s vibrantly relevant to their day-to-day lives. And he’s afraid; trying to stop you. Currently He has a bunch of dull, neglected, misplaced swords out there. And he likes it that way. But you’re getting in his way. You’re locating those swords, blowing the dust off them, and teaching people how to sharpen and use them—against him. Oh, yeah, you’re a threat. As is everyone else who desires to teach and facilitate other’s learning my Truth and how to apply My principles and precepts. But, Baby, you’re on the front lines! And you let your guard down.
I know. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Why would he be afraid of me? I’m nothing. A nobody from nowhere.
So was David—until I called Him.
Baby, the Enemy is afraid of you. Afraid of what I’ve called you to do. Afraid of the lives I’m going to change because of your obedience. If you weren’t doing what I called you to do Satan would have no reason to attack you. To mess with you. To be afraid of you. You wouldn’t be worth his time. But you are being obedient. You are doing what I’ve asked you to do. And I couldn’t be more proud. I’ve got your back. Keep your eyes on me. And me alone. Do you trust me?
Yes. I trust you. But please, oh, please help me in my unbelief.
So my friend. Time to turn this to you. What has God called you to do?
- Disciple/mentor a new Christian?
- Help in children’s or youth ministry?
- Usher or greet people as they come into your church?
- Lead a small group?
- Be in a small group?
- Be a light in your work place or school?
- Stand up for your faith when others are tearing it down?
- Share your faith?
- __________(you fill in the blank)_________
Regardless of what God has called you to do, if you’re faithful and obedient to that call—Satan’s going to try to stop you because you’re a threat. Oh, I see that “you bet I am” smirk playing on the corner of your lips.
But let me remind you of this truth: We can’t stand up to Satan on our own. We don’t have the power to fight or defeat Him in our flesh. But with the Spirit’s daily filling and daily nourishment from God’s Word, we’re empowered to do just that. We’re like trees planted along the riverbank—deeply rooted—so regardless of what life throws at us, we won’t wither or stop producing fruit.
So sharpen your sword.
God’s got your back. And He’s got mine.
And (spoiler alert) in the end…God wins!
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